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I am not sure of his reasons for proposing

Updated on: 21 June,2022 06:06 AM IST  |  Mumbai
Dr Love | mailbag@mid-day.com

There is pressure on me too, from my parents, but I want to be sure before I commit to a long-term relationship. What should I do?

I am not sure of his reasons for proposing

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 32-year old woman and have been dating a guy for six months now. We used to date in college, but it ended after a short while because we both wanted something else. He seems to have changed a lot in the years since, and he recently told me that it felt as if I was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. I think he wants to propose to me, but I don’t know if he is doing this only because he feels as if time is slipping away from him. I don’t know how I feel about him yet because it’s too soon. There is pressure on me too, from my parents, but I want to be sure before I commit to a long-term relationship. What should I do?
You should give yourself all the time and space you need to make your decision, because it is your life and your commitment that matters. Your boyfriend may have his own reasons for wanting to commit now, and his intentions may be genuine, but it is obvious that you are both at different stages of this relationship. Tell him why you need time, allow yourself the breathing room you need to get to know him better until you feel more secure, and be prepared to walk away if you feel as if this isn’t what you want from a partner. Whatever you decide may seem difficult but think about your future as well as your present circumstances while making that decision.

My girlfriend and I have been fighting a lot about her ex-boyfriend, who insists on staying in touch with her even though he knows I have a problem with it. How can we resolve this?
You may have a problem with her ex, but if she doesn’t, staying in touch with him is her prerogative. She is choosing to be with you, so this boils down to jealousy or insecurity on your part that you alone can deal with.


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