Keep in mind the fact that he and his ex alone know what their own relationship was like
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been in a relationship with a guy for over four months, and only realised a few days ago that I look a lot like his ex-girlfriend. I had never seen pictures of her until now, and the resemblance was uncanny. I asked him about this, and he just laughed, saying I had an overactive imagination. But when I showed her photographs on Facebook to friends of mine, they agreed with me. I don’t know why this is bothering me, or if it should bother me at all, but I just find it strange that maybe the person I’m with has a type and isn’t really attracted to who I am other than that I fit his type. It makes me feel as if something about our relationship is not genuine or meant to be. Am I overreacting or reading too much into this?
A lot of people have what you refer to as a ‘type’, which could be a certain look but, more often than not, has to do with compatibility. This could be about sharing certain interests, or a similar outlook to life. It must be disconcerting to you to see a resemblance with your partner’s ex, but it is also important to treat your own relationship with him as different from the one he was in. If you must gauge how genuine this is, do it based on how he treats you, and what you both feel about each other, not by what his relationship with someone may have been like in the past. Keep in mind the fact that he and his ex alone know what their own relationship was like.
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Am I asking too much of the people I date to want the same things I want? Or am I being too picky?
It’s your life, and you are perfectly entitled to be with anyone who fits your criteria. Strong relationships are built by people working towards the same goals together, so there’s nothing wrong with your premise or desire for compatibility.
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