Don’t bother meeting him until he knows what he wants.
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 27-year old woman and have recently developed feelings for a guy I have known for a few months now. I told him how I felt about him, and he asked me out. We went on a few dates, but I can’t figure out where this is going because I don’t get a clear response from him. He doesn’t tell me if he reciprocates how I feel, and I sometimes get the sense that he only meets me because he enjoys the attention. It’s obvious that I like him a lot, and maybe he relishes that more than the possibility of getting into a relationship with me. The sad thing is, whenever he asks me out, I drop everything and accept. It makes me feel desperate because I keep thinking he will finally tell me what’s on his mind. Is he playing with me, or should I give him more time to figure out how he feels?
If you feel disrespected, and every date ends up making you feel desperate or unhappy, these aren’t signs you should ignore. Giving someone time to figure out their feelings is great, but the onus is on them to communicate that to you and tell you where things stand. If this person enjoys the attention but says nothing about what’s on his mind, it’s not a good sign because you deserve clarity after the second or third date. Ask him a direct question the next time you meet and, if he still has no definitive response, assume this is just a waste of time. Don’t bother meeting him until he knows what he wants.
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How do I find out is someone at work has propositioned me? I think this person did, but I want to avoid any misunderstanding.
Ask them out for coffee and see how they react. A misunderstanding can be avoided when you feel comfortable enough to ask a direct question. If they turn down the invitation for coffee, you will have your answer sooner rather than later.
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