It is only when you both commit to saving this relationship first that you can take the steps you both need to
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 37-year old married woman and have been struggling with depression. It has nothing to do with my husband or family, but childhood trauma that affects how I function. My husband has been very supportive for years, but recently told me that it was starting to become impossible for him to cope. He says he is considering separating from me because he is afraid that my depression is bringing him down, too. I feel awful about this because I love him a lot and am aware that my condition takes a huge toll on him emotionally. I want to fix myself but don’t know how long it will take or if I will ever be able to do it. I don’t want to lose my marriage and feel very trapped in this situation. What should I do?
You should both acknowledge and accept that depression, like any ailment, needs to be treated with care and compassion with the help of a professional. If you are speaking to a therapist already, that is a great step in the right direction. Your husband needs to understand that he may need counselling too, because he simply won’t have the tools to manage this on his own. Every loved one living with a depressed person has needs of their own that need to be addressed too, and your husband may simply not want to face the fact that this will require outside intervention. Talk to him about your marriage, what you want and hope for, and ask him if he feels the same way about you. It is only when you both commit to saving this relationship first that you can take the steps you both need to.
My girlfriend wants to go on a holiday with a group of people that includes her ex-boyfriend. I don’t know how to deal with this.
One of the foundations of your relationship with her is trust. She chooses to be with you, not her ex, and that is all that should matter.
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