She forgave my affair, but...

I had an affair with a colleague a few months ago, while I was dating my girlfriend. It didn’t last long, but it happened. I told her about it, and she forgave me because we were going through some serious issues in our relationship at the time. We have managed to resolve all our major problems since then, and I am more confident that we will be able to take this to the next stage, but a part of me is worried because I know she still struggles with that affair. We don’t talk about it, and it feels as if it has been brushed under the carpet which worries me because this is someone I want to spend the rest of my life with. If she chooses to bring it up at some point in the future, I don’t know if we will be able to deal with it. Is this a sensible approach? It seems as if she wants to put it behind her, but I want to do that only when I am sure there is no lingering resentment. What is the right approach for us?
You are both dealing with it in ways that seem comfortable for now, which is probably the best thing to do. You’re right about the possibility of it cropping up in the future, but this isn’t the kind of discussion that can be rushed into either. If your partner is still processing it and needs time to fully understand the implications of that affair and how it may impact your relationship in the future, you should be patient. Forgiveness is difficult, but it has to be complete and unconditional. This takes time. I suggest you prepare to have that conversation whenever she wants to, assuming she will one day want to. That is all you can do for now, while focusing on strengthening your relationship. Keeping lines of communication open is critical, and she needs to know that you are okay with talking about anything, even the difficult subjects.

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