If she isn’t saying anything, the onus of dealing with this sense of insecurity is on you. Remind yourself that she is capable of making decisions on her own
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been married for a year-and-a-half, and my wife lost her job soon after the wedding. Since then, she has made no effort to find another job or get back into the corporate world. This is eating into our finances and causing a lot of stress to both of us, but she insists that she needs time off to recover and wants me to bear the burden of the household until she is stronger. I want to be supportive, and try my best to do what she asks, but it is getting harder to manage. I don’t know how much longer this can go on. I can’t even bring up this topic now because if I do, she creates an argument out of nothing and says I am not the man she married. What should I do?
This isn’t the kind of argument that can be resolved with patience and time if your household’s finances are at stake. Not discussing it is not an option either, given the toll it is clearly taking on you both. If this isn’t something she wants to resolve, and you can’t find a way of coping, you should suggest speaking to an outsider you both trust. Explain why this can’t go on or come up with a date that works for you, explain why things will be harder after that point. At the very least, she should be able to come up with a timeline that allows her to ease into a working situation, even if it means starting with a part-time position. To skirt around this issue will not be an option for much longer.
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My girlfriend is extremely beautiful, and this always makes me feel less worthy of being with her. She doesn’t say anything, it’s just how people around us react. How can I change this?
If she isn’t saying anything, the onus of dealing with this sense of insecurity is on you. Remind yourself that she is capable of making decisions on her own.
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