Tell him how you feel and if he doesn’t change his behaviour, assume that this won’t work
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been married for two years and recently found out that my wife had been lying about her past. I thought I knew about the people she had dated before me, but she didn’t mention one or two because she thought I would be upset. When I tell her that she was being dishonest, she says it shouldn’t matter because I was not in her life and the past means nothing. I understand that she’s got a point, but I also feel hurt that she couldn’t come clean about this and be honest before we got married. Am I making too big a deal about this? Should I worry about what this means for our future?
You should evaluate where things stand in your marriage today, how you feel about each other, and whether something that happened before you entered her life has any bearing on your future together. She has a point, and so do you, but there’s nothing either of you can do to change what happened before you got together. You can be hurt about it for a while and make a conscious decision to put it behind you or talk about it until you can both find a way of moving on. If your relationship is solid, and you want to focus on what is to come rather than what you have no control over, this will blow over eventually. Take some time to think about it before speaking to your wife.
A few weeks ago, I met a guy online and we began chatting. It was via a dating app, and we agreed to meet in person but couldn’t because of clashing schedules. We have been chatting on that app since then, but there are some red flags because he seems to ask too many personal questions. What do I do?
You are under no obligation to respond or meet him if you are uncomfortable. Tell him how you feel and if he doesn’t change his behaviour, assume that this won’t work.
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