Don’t accept everything just because you have to but try and find a solution that isn’t entirely dismissive of her needs or expectations either
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I am a 23-year old guy and have been dating a friend of mine for two months. She is very possessive and constantly tries to get me to spend as much time with her as possible. I am also trying to focus on my job because I am new to the office and I want to get a promotion, but she thinks my priorities are wrong and that I should focus on my personal life before working on anything professional. I don’t know what to say because she is convinced she is right. Is this a red flag? If she is so convinced she won’t even consider where I’m coming from, is this a sign that I should draw boundaries right from the start? Or am I overthinking this?
Neither of you is overthinking this. It’s a relationship that is two months old and the whole point of spending time together is to try and understand each other’s perspectives. It is only by getting to know her better that you can figure out whether she is too possessive or inflexible. She may have the same opinion of you because we don’t always introspect and consider our own behaviour. Give it time, get her to understand why your work is important, and try to find a balance between your personal and professional lives. It takes some work, but it can be done with dialogue and communication. Don’t accept everything just because you have to but try and find a solution that isn’t entirely dismissive of her needs or expectations either.
My mother wants me to marry someone I detest, because she thinks the family is great. I know the girl’s parents and they are wonderful, but my mother doesn’t know how spoiled their daughter is, or how she doesn’t even respect her parents. How do I get out of this?
Your mother may have an opinion, but it’s your life and you should be honest about why this isn’t working. She is not your enemy.
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