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She’s a flirt, but I have a crush on her

Updated on: 21 May,2022 07:30 AM IST  |  Mumbai
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Please help. Should I not go out with her anymore

She’s a flirt, but I have a crush on her

Illustration/Uday Mohite

I am a 24-year old guy and have had a crush on a girl I’ve known since college. She flirts with a lot of other guys, and I have seen her go on dates with many of them over the past three years. We recently ran into each other at a party and began chatting, and I asked her out. She agreed and we had a great time. I have gone on four more dates since then and think she really likes me. At the same time, I have these doubts because she’s also very friendly with so many other guys. I am worried that if I tell her my feelings, and she reciprocates, I won’t be able to trust her until I know where she is or what she’s doing all the time. I don’t want to be that possessive, but I can’t help it because of her nature. Please help. Should I not go out with her anymore?
If you can’t trust her, there’s nothing that can save your relationship, assuming she wants one with you. Being friends with a lot of people is not the same as having feelings for them or being in relationships with them. If you were the one being friendly with a lot of girls, you would want her to think of you differently, so extending her the same courtesy is only fair. You can tell her how you feel and give her a chance to respond, then decide what this means to you both based upon her actions rather than your presumptions. If you are prepared to let her go because of doubts, this is doomed from the start.

My best friend and I like the same guy, but don’t know how to resolve it because we are afraid it may tear our friendship apart if one of us goes out with him. What do we do?
Have either of you spoken to him and given him an inclination of how you feel? It may make sense to start there

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