I am a 29-year old guy and have been spending a lot of time with a colleague from work. She is in a relationship with someone, but we end up spending more time together than she does with her partner. I am confused about why she prefers being with me. I don’t know if she has feelings for me and am afraid of asking because I don’t know how she will react if I have misunderstood this situation. I am starting to have strong feelings for her because I have begun to know her well over the past year. I also believe she is unhappy in her relationship. Should I ask her a direct question about what she wants from me, or just spend time with her until she says something on her own?
A misunderstanding is always possible because sometimes, when someone wants to spend time with you, it really can be about friendship rather than anything romantic. It’s possible that she just finds you fun to be with, and there may be all kinds of reasons why she doesn’t manage to spend as much time with her partner. There’s no point speculating because the chances of that ruining your friendship are high. Why not play the role of a friend, get to know her better, and keep your feelings out of it until you are both comfortable enough to talk about whether this is anything but platonic?

How do I tell my boyfriend that I am not interested in him anymore? He is passionately in love with me and I am afraid of what he might do to himself if he finds out.
Are you considering being with him and disregarding your own feelings because you’re afraid of his reaction? For how long do you expect that to work until you start to resent the situation and make it worse for him as well as yourself? The sooner you are honest, the more time you give him to process this and find a way of coping.