If you trust him and believe the feeling is mutual, why not ask about it and erase any possible misconceptions?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been observing the kind of men I go on dates with, and recently realised that they start by showing a lot of interest in me before suddenly changing. We go on two or three dates, if there is a connection, and then something happens that makes them drift away. At first, I thought it was something I was doing to push them away but, lately, I feel as if they just don’t want to commit to anything serious. It’s as if they just want casual relationships, not something long-term. How do I get out of this cycle?
You can’t do much about people who don’t want the same things as you do, which is why it makes sense to keep meeting people, as well as being more upfront about what you’re looking for. A lot of people aren’t sure about what they want, which is understandable because it takes a while to figure out how compatible one is with another person. Try approaching these dates with no expectations, talk about what your expectations are, and ask direct questions about their intentions. The worst that can happen is they may drift off after the first date rather than the third. If someone does stick around, at least you will know it’s because they’re trying for the same things you are. This is not going to and may call for a lot of patience, but don’t stop expanding your circle of acquaintances.
My boyfriend forgot his phone at my place a few days ago, and I saw that he had been texting a woman I have never heard of. It wasn’t flirtatious, but it still felt like a secret I was not meant to know anything about. I don’t want to confront him because I don’t think he’s cheating on me, but I am concerned. What do I do?
If you trust him and believe the feeling is mutual, why not ask about it and erase any possible misconceptions?
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