Being sweet on WhatsApp means nothing if it doesn’t extend to sweetness in real life.
Illustration/Uday Mohite
Is it normal for people in a relationship to constantly argue more than be kind to each other? My girlfriend and I have been together for five months and have not had a single date that hasn’t ended in a fight. We are very sweet and kind on WhatsApp but meeting in person always makes us say or do crazy things and it makes us wonder if we are even meant to be with each other. We have strong feelings for each other, which is why we began dating, and we both want to make this work because we would have ended it by now if we weren’t interested. It just seems like too much of an effort at times because we both know a fight is just around the corner. Should we just give up?
Making things work implies that there is work involved, which you haven’t mentioned at all. Fights are normal because they help set expectations and allow you both to understand each other a little better even if it doesn’t seem that way. If you want to be together, it’s time to sit down and ask yourselves why things are the way they are. What triggers these arguments, what are you both prepared to do or not do, and how badly do you want this relationship to be successful? Nothing that matters comes easily, which sounds like a cliché but makes a big difference to relationships that ultimately last long. Think about that, re-evaluate your priorities, and check your individual egos at the door before you next meet in person. Being sweet on WhatsApp means nothing if it doesn’t extend to sweetness in real life.
Should I end a relationship if it hasn’t worked out for over six months, or should we both keep trying just because we are used to each other?
The only people capable of answering that question are the ones in that relationship. Force of habit is never a good reason though, because it harms you both in some way.
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