Tell her why her comments are inappropriate and give her a chance to change. If she doesn’t, there is no hope
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My husband and I have been struggling with living alone. We have been married for over 15 years and have no children. We didn’t want any because we were sure at the time, but didn’t count on losing interest in each other, which has happened slowly over the past decade. We know we aren’t going to separate because we want companionship and can’t stand the idea of being with other people, but we are also concerned about how we may turn into a couple that doesn’t even speak to each other as we get older. The pandemic made this much worse because we were cut off from our relatives and friends and didn’t have any other social interactions either. How can we make this work?
You can’t blame yourselves for how the pandemic affected you because it changed the lives of millions for the worse. It’s great that you and your husband are committed to being together, which is the most important thing because everything else can be resolved by working together. If you are both committed to a future as a couple, the only way forward is dialogue, and the intervention of a professional who can guide that dialogue. There are multiple ways by which you can find and renew and interest in each other, but it will require some unlearning too. I suggest you initiate a conversation with your husband about how he feels, what he would like to change, and how prepared he is to fix this.
Should I end a relationship if my partner keeps saying she can find someone better whenever we fight? It makes me feel worthless.
If she doesn’t respect you, that is reason enough. If she makes you feel worthless, that is a red flag, too, because relationships should make you feel better. Tell her why her comments are inappropriate and give her a chance to change. If she doesn’t, there is no hope.
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