You can point out that this is starting to affect your relationship and ask him to get help before things take a wrong turn
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have been in a relationship for four years and we have been struggling to stay excited about each other. We know things cool off after a point and have tried our best to freshen things up in all kinds of ways, but it is starting to feel as if this is a chore. My partner and I both hate this feeling because we genuinely love each other and believe we will spend the rest of our lives together. At the same time, if this is how things are after just four years, how will we manage to keep this spark alive a decade or two from now? We have been considering therapy but don’t know if this is a sign that our relationship is fading rather than evolving. What should we do?
You’re doing the right thing by speaking to a professional, because it means you are both acknowledging that things need to change. Self-awareness is terribly important and the fact that you are both concerned and want to make this work is a sign of evolution even if it doesn’t seem that way. All relationships go through ups and downs, some more difficult than others, but asking for help is never a sign of weakness, nor is it an indication that things have begun to slow down. It’s easy to be pessimistic about this, but keep in mind that dialogue and expert advice can go a long way towards not just making things work in the near future, but in the years to come, because you will both be armed with coping mechanisms and ideas for how you can take this to the next level. Wanting to be together is half the battle won, so don’t give up just yet.
My significant other is always angry and makes me feel as if it is my fault. How can I change this habit?
You can point out that this is starting to affect your relationship and ask him to get help before things take a wrong turn.
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