We’d talked about not having kids...

My husband and I have no children and have been married for almost nine years. In all this time, we have never felt anything missing in our marriage and have only grown closer. A few weeks ago, however, he suddenly asked me about starting a family, and I realised for the first time that he may not be as satisfied with our life together as I assumed he was. I didn’t react, but I have been thinking about this and don’t know if I can fulfil his wish and have a child. I had always assumed this was the way things would be because I didn’t want to be a parent, and am now worried because I don’t know how he will react to my decision. It is also a surprise because he was always on board with me all these years. I don’t know where this wish has come from and I am not sure how to deal with it. What should I do?
Your husband has made a suggestion based on the fact that he loves you and feels comfortable enough to speak to you about what is on his mind. There is nothing wrong with arriving at a decision together and then questioning it at a later stage in one’s life because we all evolve differently and start to look at life in different ways as we grow older. He is simply asking for your point of view, not declaring that he intends to leave if this isn’t something you want. It is always great to have a dialogue about our wants and expectations, because they change constantly. You have your reasons for not wanting to be a parent, and he simply has a thought based on something he hasn’t shared yet. The sensible thing to do is talk about this desire, find out where it has come from, and then share your perspective and why you feel differently. Nothing has to change between the two of you if you keep lines of communication open.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to lovedoc@mid-day.com