What should I do to make sure I find more suitable people to go out with?
Illustration/Uday Mohite
My luck with dating has been poor for a while and I don’t know what the problem is. I use dating apps and there is always a risk, but I never seem to find someone decent. I try and be open-minded, but it’s not helping, and I don’t know if I should just give up on them. I know people who have met great guys on apps, which is why I’m always surprised at my own bad luck. What should I do to make sure I find more suitable people to go out with?
You should keep meeting more people, but also consider more traditional approaches. Places you like, or hobbies that attract you, usually have groups you can join, where the possibility of meeting someone likeminded is higher. It also helps to rely on friends who know people they think you may get along with, because there’s nothing like a connection made with someone who knows you well and knows the kind of person you would like to be with. There is no science to this because apps will attract anyone and everyone, so all you can do is keep trying until you get lucky. Lowering your standards is never the smartest thing to do.
I broke up with my fiancé after four years together, but she is now asking me to reconsider. I don’t know what to do. I still have feelings for her, but we also got to a place where we couldn’t see a future together which is why I’m surprised that she has been reaching out. What should I say?
You should use this time apart to evaluate what went wrong, what your individual expectations from the relationship were, and why things didn’t work out. Moving on from someone you have been with for a while is always hard, which is why time spent apart is so critical for you both. There’s no harm meeting her or having conversations about this, but consider decisions after you have weighed all the pros and cons.
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