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Am I just a booty call to this guy friend of mine?

Updated on: 25 March,2011 07:32 AM IST  | 
Diana |

I've known this guy since I was 19. We met at a club and kissed. He's ten years older, but we only learnt of this, the next day

Am I just a booty call to this guy friend of mine?

Dear Diana,
I've known this guy since I was 19. We met at a club and kissed. He's ten years older, but we only learnt of this, the next day. Over the next six months, we bumped into each other at parties and became good friends, despite meeting each other only when drunk.

Also, I live in Mumbai while he lives in Pune, so we rarely meet. It's been 18 months since we last met. In the last four months, he made the effort to find me and ask me out. We even ended up having sex a couple of times. I like this guy but wonder ufffd does he only want a friend with benefits? We can talk about anything and he is really sweet. However, when he's in Pune, we rarely chat. Am I simply a booty call to him?

Confused Girl


Dear Friend,
You're best equipped to answer that. If you ask me, you probably were okay with the casual sex before you started sensing feelings for this guy. It's when you reach the "we can talk about anything" and the "he's really sweet" phase, that the alarm bells should have gone off. You feel this way, but does he? If you want to know if he's into you, just hold back the next time he expects sex and see how it goes from there.

She won't name her one-night stand

Dear Diana,
My wife confessed she had a one-night stand while on a trip with her girlfriends.
She says she has told me all there is to tell but won't tell me the guy's name. What's up with that?


Name withheld

Dear Friend,

What happened was, your wife made a choiceu00a0-- a choice that she would cheat with another man. She didn't have to do it. The guy's name is irrelevant. You don't need to know a thing about him. What remains relevant, is that your wife is still a cheat, and that is all that needs your attention.

Is it regret or is he playing around?

Dear Diana,
My husband recently left me after 26 years of marriage for another woman. The first month we had hardly any contact but now we speak and see each other every day. He says he still loves me and that no one will ever compare to how he feels about me. He only knew his girlfriend for two months before he left and is now living with her. He also says "he thought the grass would be greener but it isn't". I pretend that I am fine and looking forward to buying my own place once the family home is sold, but inside I still love him. He is also very depressed and on medication now. Do you think he regrets leaving or is he just playing games?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,

Perhaps you should try talking to him about it. To be fair, being depressed and on medication is a pretty big sign that his head's not in the right place. I'm not saying take him back, I'm not saying make promises, because this man has a huge amount of effort to put in if he's serious.

But, I think it if you still love him that much, 26 years might be worth trying to save. He needs to be honest, he needs to be open, he needs to have sexual health checks done, and he needs to have incredible patience with you if you are to do this. He also needs to attend counselling for his depression, and couples counselling too. Don't throw in the towel just yet.


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