'He's so busy charming others that he ignores me'

Jun 15, 2017, 06:00 IST | Dr Love

My boyfriend tends to get a little too friendly with other women. He isn't cheating on me or anything, but he just tends to be extra charming the minute he is introduced to someone new. If we go to parties, he ends up spending an entire evening chatting with other people and tends to ignore me completely. He doesn't do this intentionally, but it's just the way he is. He is sensitive and caring when we're on our own, but tends to be like this outside. I have spoken to him about it and he says I am being too dramatic. I don't want to change who he is, but this bothers me a lot.

You can't really change him even if you try, because I suppose you fell in love with him primarily on account of that charm. If you are bothered by his behaviour though, and he does ignore you, you are being perfectly reasonable by asking him to pay more attention. Blaming this on his nature is not an excuse, if that's what he's doing. He needs to understand that ignoring you in public is not an option because it's disrespectful.

My girlfriend and I used to exchange a lot of racy Snapchat pictures a while ago, but she doesn't do this anymore because she's afraid of a data leak. I have told her not to worry, but she refuses. This is affecting our relationship because I think she's being too prudish. What should I do?

If she's not comfortable, it's her prerogative. The fact that there are reports of data breaches every other week prove that she's not being paranoid either. I don't see how this can affect your relationship. How did people manage before Snapchat was invented? You can't and shouldn't force her to do something she doesn't want to, because that is a bigger danger to your relationship than you realise. Give her time and space. Don't let racy pictures define what the two of you have.

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