'Her father accompanies us everywhere...'

Dear Diana,
I recently got engaged to a girl of my family's choice. I had met her about four times before the engagement. We otherwise spoke on the phone. Now that we are engaged, I have been asking her out. But to my utter shock, her father accompanies her everywhere. Wherever we go, he is there with us. I have told her that I do not like it one bit. I feel as if every move of mine is being watched. I have told her not to tell her parents every time we go out. However, she says as she is the only child, they have always been protective about her. She does not know how to tell her father not to hang around with us. What should I do? When I get married, will her parents then, too, tag along? I am dreading the situation and seriously thinking about calling off the engagement. The girl is nice and caring. We have been getting along well.
— Paritosh

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite 

Dear Paritosh,
I can only sympathise with you. Imagine having her father keeping a hawk's eye on you all the time. The only way out of this problem is to tell him. You need to clearly explain how you feel about the situation. It is okay if he is around, when it is a family situation, but otherwise it is a definite no. It is strange that he does not realise that he is being the kabab mein haddi. The girl is also to blame for the situation. She needs to tell her dad that it is time he stopped treating her like a baby. She is not a child and can take care of herself.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

  • Buddy17-Jan-2016

    Krishnan answer is much better than Diana. Why dont they change the Diana first so that readers will get good answers?

  • Rajan M Khandekar16-Jan-2016

    I would request you to think and take good decision. As i am also dealing with the same situation. If she is under influence of her parents. Then in future she will always share petty house hold issues them and carry with her parents way to resolve also agree on the decision made by them and not by you.

  • Krishan Wadhwa16-Jan-2016

    Both the Father and the Guy are correct in their own way.. Dude grow up he is a Father he has seen more Life than you.. now a days its pretty common to have affairs and Engagement and than Girl gets laid in the name of relation and at times relations are called of at end moment before marriage. Her Father's concern is justified as he expects that nothing goes wrong which could bring shame to his family in any means before his daughter gets married. Get Married and he will wont be KABAB Mei HADDI

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