How to

Jan 08, 2012, 08:14 IST | Sandhya Mridul

Dear Sandy,
I am a 41 year-old married woman madly in love with a 27 year-old single man. I have been married for 18 years but my marriage is dead and devoid of any feelings. At this point, I feel so much in love, alive and creatively inspired. It's probably foolish and I know my boyfriend and I have no future but we can't break up as we both are extremely attached and in love with each other.  If I were five years younger I would've moved heaven and earth to be with my boyfriend because I am certain he is the ONE. Please tell me what to do.
Regards, Perplexed and scared

Dear P and S,
Lets start with your marriage first since that's the core of the issue, with or without your boy friend in the picture. You say your marriage is dead and devoid of any feelings then what is it that makes you hold on to it? I assume you have children even though you haven't mentioned them and may be that's what makes you stay but you need to understand that a loveless marriage is as bad for the children as it is for you. Love is very important not only for your well being and your creativity but for your health and your life. You are harming your well being by staying in something that does not make you happy and I assume that since you've been in this marriage for 18 years you've given it what it takes and if I my assumption is right then make your peace and move on. You need to shut this door so another can open and you can have another shot at happiness and love. Everybody deserves that. And don't be bothered about your age life truly begins at 40.
Love and luck, Sandy

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