How to

Dear Sandhya,
I’m a 28 year-old guy and my partner is 27 years old. We have been in a relationship for the past two years. Things have always been a tad awkward, even cold, when my partner meets my parents. My parents have tried being sweet, but I can see that they have to try really hard at it, it’s not something that comes naturally to them. My partner finds my parents cold and unrelenting, and I try hard to not to mix them. But it is really unavoidable at times. She doesn’t like my friends either. I am considering marriage with her, but is love enough? I feel increasingly anxious about this situation, which, I think this will cut us off from people I like the most. There’s nothing wrong with the relationship otherwise. She’s smart, funny and we have a lot in common. I have tried my best with her parents, and it so happens that they aren’t very sociable, so I don’t find myself meeting them too often. But my parents love having people over. And I wonder whether I will be able to make them all mingle. I would not like to force my partner to do something she doesn’t want to do. But the situation is making me rethink everything. What should I do?

Sandhya Mridul


Dear Confused,
Yes, sounds a bit messy and I get your concerns. It is important that the people you love get along because marriage is not just about two people. Unfortunately in this country, families get married, so you need to figure this out. I suggest you sit down with all concerned and talk this through and see if they’re willing to work on this. Since there doesn’t seem to be any specific issue, I’m sure a little communication, and throwing the forum open will clear the air and I’m quite certain that’s all you need to do. Get everybody together, and tell them how you feel. If they love you they will work on it. If nothing at least you’ll get a clearer picture of things and can take a call on which way to go.
Love, Sandhya

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