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'I don't want to have a child...'

Dear Diana,
I will turn 34 in February and my husband feels that I should have a child before the age of 35. I really don’t want a child right now as it will mean I take a break from my job. I am an air-hostess. I am well-settled in my job and want to wait for at least another two years. I have just been given a senior position so want to enjoy this phase of my professional life. I am fit and look much younger than my age. My husband feels once I cross 35 there could be complications and wants to start trying for a baby now. I can’t seem to articulate why I don’t want a child now. We are stable and have been together for seven years. I understand it might take a while to conceive, but we’re both fit and healthy so hopefully things will be okay. How can I put it into words so he can see my perspective?
— Sarah

Dear Diana
Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Sarah,
As you are flying, once you find out you are pregnant you will have to ground yourself. You will need to check the rules with the airline’s HR folk. It is generally believed that a woman should have children before the age of 35 as post that age the chances of complications increase. Though there are many women who also conceive when they are in their early 40s. Each pregnancy is unique and the risk element differs from person to person. You can seek medical help and consult a gynaecologist to put any doubts at risk. The reason your husband is saying that you should at least start trying is because things may not exactly happen the way you want things to happen. If you want to wait for two years, it is your call. Explain to your hubby that it is not that you do not want a child, it’s just that you are not ready for it right now.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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