I really fancy someone, but I don’t know how to approach and tell him. He’s a friend of a friend and we meet up regularly as he is part of a group. We usually talk for a while whenever we’re together and seem to have a lot in common. He’s single and my friend says she thinks he likes me, but I don’t know if I can ask him out — or what to say. I’m 26 and he’s 29. How should I tell him without sounding too desperate?
You are 26 and he is 29, it is not that you are 19 and don’t know how to deal with the situation. Try to talk to him alone and show that you care by being concerned about him. At the same time, don’t rush into it or sound nervous. Also, if your pal thinks he likes you, tell her to get an inkling of what he feels about you. If he is interested, he will respond and drop hints. You can always ask him out on some pretence or even in a group make sure you sit next to him to know him better and understand what’s on his mind.
I have been in a relationship for 10 years. My partner is terrible with money. I have supported him financially and recently he started a business. He believes he’s on the verge of winning a big contract that will make him rich and solve all his problems, but nothing has moved on that front. I feel he is using me just for the finances.
You have made a habit of giving him money whenever he demands, so he has become complacent. He knows whenever he is out of cash, you are there to fulfill his needs. You need to learn to say no. Be firm and tell him that this cannot go on as he is draining your money resources instead of adding to it. Next time he comes asking, say a firm no. It will be difficult, but you will have to do it so that he makes amends.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012