Mostly we've recommended eateries that we would want you to visit, until today
Mostly we've recommended eateries that we would want you to visit, until today
Lastu00a0weekend when I was in Lucknow, I had my lunch at one of the best restaurants in the famous Hazratganj Lane, Nawab's. 
The interiors look confused and lack punch. It isn't even close to whatu00a0
other places in the locality have to offer.
Though the food was simply amazing (something that you can be rest assured of when you're dining in this gastronomically rich city) there was nothing nawabi in their decor, and I failed to understand why you have to name an eatery in a certain way if you can't live up to the expectations around that name. "Agar ye restaurant Dilli me hota to iski waat lag jaati. Thankfully in Delhi, we don't see such tacky decor," I told myself.
But I don't blame the promoters of this place because the people in Lucknow are still not used to fine 'fine dining' like the ones in metros, and it will take some time before hoteliers in town graduate to higher levels of dining.
On Monday, when I went to sample the menu and ambiance of Global Village, a new multicuisine dine out in the heart of south Delhi at the Masjid Moth Complex, my belief that food joints in the Capital don't go wrong was totally shattered, and I'm completely convinced that some of the hospitality entrepreneurs need to understand that Delhiites who swear by tasty tangs and niche ambience can't be taken for a ride. Read on as I write about my worst dining experience till date.
Crashing of great expectations
Since this new property shares the building with well-established names of hospitality like Chingari and Kuki, I expected a lot from it. The moment I stepped out of the car, I spotted the extremely vibrant and well-thought and designed hoarding of this eatery, which is located on the level two. "No lift?" I ask the guard at the welcome desk. Looking at my well-maintained obese physique, he understood why I'm so reluctant to take the stairs, and I reach the destination panting. But even people who are fit and accompanied me are falling short of breath.
No entry
A serving staff is blocking the entrance, and I've to knock at the door to request entry. He responds quickly. On the left hand side of the entrance are seated two waiters who look tired. Weekdays are dry for eateries but not so dry that there's not even a single table that's engaged. So even though my table is reserved, I don't feel blessed. Still I'm asked if I would prefer any other corner. But why should I when all the corners look the same?
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A tad too disorganised
What was the owner of this place thinking when he named it Global Village? I'm still pondering over probable answers. The wooden tables have been topped with tasteless table linen, mats, cutlery that though look same are of different thickness (I even found some to be razor sharp) and poor quality tissues (at least they could have picked napkins). The false ceiling was constantly shedding dust particles from the loosely fitted lighting items and AC vent. How am I supposed to eat?
How about some drinks?
The bar area looked dry and inadequately stocked. The looks and expressions of the bartender reminded me of bouncers. I don't know why they didn't first give me the bar menu. Did I look like a teetotaller? I asked for it, but why? Their bar menu is extremely limited. So I ordered red wine, which was served within minutes. I was shocked because it's customary to first allow the diner to check the bottle of wine and its temperature before serving it to anyone.
Food is well thought
After spotting so many loopholes, their food, which is average, comes as a saviour. Since the temperature of the wine wasn't according to my preference, I had to 'waste' it. Instead (and thankfully), we ordered tomato soup and minestrone di verdure al basilica. We clubbed it with fresh lime soda, brushetta alfredo corn (Italian sliced bread topped with cottage cheese and corn with mozzarella), makhmali seekh kebab and aloo chutneywala. All of these items had a contemporary Indian tweak.
Break ke baad
I have always been fascinated by restrooms, not because you can do infamous things there but because at several places they're the most well-thought corner. So after the first round of starters and drinks, I went to check it out. After coming out, I thought why in the first place I went in? There were no lights in there. I don't know if it was intentional.
Turn the table
Once I came back, I hurriedly wanted to wrap up. So I ordered a small portion of fish tikka and dal makhani along with garlic naan and tandoori roti. Everything tasted perfectly fine. Dark chocolate crepe, roasted almond nutella banana crepe, nutella crepe, apple cinnamon crepe and crunchy-munchy crepe -- out of all these desserts options only nutella crepe was available, which we left for someone else to try because we were tired of trying and trying.
When I returned, I poured a cup of hot milk on cornflakes, and slept. Even in my dreams, I didn't want to got back to Global Village, a complete disaster, I must say.
At: 7-E, Community Centre, Masjid Moth Complex, Above KUKI (Next to HDFC Bank), Greater Kailash II
Timings: 11 am till 1.30 pm
Meal for two: Rs 2,000
Ring: 41011619
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