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Mumbai Diary page: Sunday shorts

News bites
With images of Luis Suarez depicted as the shark from the film Jaws, memes of the bitten Apple with the tagline: ‘Suarez was here’ and jokes such as ‘Suarez completes his three-course meal with a Pasta Chiellini’ — the Uruguay striker has become the ‘bite of all jokes’ on the Internet for biting Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini.

Fans pose with a poster of Luis Suarez depicting him as a shark from Jaws.
Fans pose with a poster of Luis Suarez depicting him as a shark from Jaws. Pic/AP

Indian fans want to send him Vicco Vajradanti tooth powder for his weak gums, parents want to weave tales about him biting kids who don’t sleep on time to ensure their brats get into bed without any hassles and the Railways wants him to train their dogs… Will we see Suarez, who has been banned from all things football for the next four months, as brand ambassador for any of these products? Which bait will he bite, we wonder.

Goal models
With the ongoing World Cup in place, football is pretty much part of all random conversations. And what better place can there be than your local barber shop to eavesdrop on unsuspecting fellow customers? What's entertaining though is the rise in interest about the game. One middle-aged gentleman was overheard worrying about the delay in monsoon but not for agricultural purposes. “Agar baarish nahi hui toh bacche football nahi khelenge. Agar khelenge nahi toh hum bas World Cup dekhte hi rahenge, kabhi jeetenge nahi.”


No smiles for these tiles
Never mind the difficulty of daily commuting — just getting to the train station can be a hazardous affair on most days, given the traffic, rush-hour crowds, and assorted hawkers and beggars hindering one’s progress.

Dombivli Skywalk
Watch your step: The Dombivli Skywalk on the Central line is a patchwork of broken tiles. pic/Shrikant Khuperkar

At Dombivili station on the Central line, it gets worse. When commuters finally reach the skywalk that leads to the station, which connects the east and west sides through the foot-overbridge at the north (Kalyan) end, they have to watch their steps. The tiles on the skywalk are so badly broken that anyone who stumbles could easily suffer a sprain or even a fracture. Add to that the hawkers who line the sides of the skywalk, and there is barely any decent walking space left for commuters.

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