I am 27 and my girlfriend is 26. Her parents do not approve of me. We have been together for over three years. She has tried to convince them, but it has proved to be an exercise in futility. I was hoping that they would come around and accept me, but they are proving to be difficult. They feel an arranged marriage is the best bet for her. They have already lined up some guys for her. She tells me she cannot think of an arranged marriage and I am the guy for her. Last month, I suggested a court marriage. Initially she agreed, but when it was time to approach the marriage registrar and file a notice for intended marriage, she backed out. Since then, her behaviour has changed. She now avoids me. I think she feels that as she cannot marry me, there is no point sticking around with me. What should I do?
You are committed to her and suggested a court marriage, but this girl has a wavering mind. From her behaviour, it is clear that she really has no interest in pursuing this relationship any further. You are keen to marry her, but she is not. She may tell you that you are the only guy on her scene and that she wants to evade the arranged marriage her parents are forcing her into. But at the same time she does not want to infuriate her family. Her backing out of a court marriage at the last minute is a clear indication of her priorities. Her behaviour towards you has changed because she does not want to marry you. You need to ask her to tell you that in no uncertain terms and find out what is going on. That is the only way you will get to know the truth. Accordingly, you then need to decide your next step and whether you need to move on. If she is not committed, it is better you go your way.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012