'My girlfriend never has the time to meet me'

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

Q. I have been dating this girl for two years now. I don’t know if there’s something wrong with us now though, because over the past three months, she says she never has the time to meet me. I try and set up a date, and say I will work it around the time most convenient for her, but she always has an excuse. I don’t know if the relationship has ended because she says she is still dating me, but three months is a bit much. What do you think?
A. It sounds as if you’re doing the right thing — being communicative, supportive of her time and personal space, not pushing her to meet with you. Having said that, three months really does seem like a long time, especially assuming you both live in the same city and aren’t travelling to other cities constantly. Her inability to meet you doesn’t mean she’s with someone else, or that she is trying to end the relationship, because she would have done that by now if she wanted to. It could be a personal crisis of sorts, or a temporary shift in her priorities. Get her to open up, even if it is via WhatsApp, and try figuring out what the real reason is.

Q. What is the recommended time for any relationship to end? My partner and I have been together for a year now and think we should be with other people. Is a year good enough? Should we stay together for a while longer?
A. I’m not sure how I should respond to a question as ridiculous as this one. If you approach relationships the way you approach a job, you’re going to end up sad, lonely and miserable. If the two of you are happy, why not stick together? If you’re not, please feel free to end it. Either way, you should focus on what you both get
out of being in a relationship instead of worrying about how long you are meant to be together.

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