'My husband checks out other women...'

Dear Diana,
My husband has this habit of checking out other women. He tells me there is no harm in appreciating beauty. We were at a mall in Malad recently, when he came across a good-looking woman. He kept eyeing her. Sometimes he even tells me how gorgeous the woman is in detail. I take great care of myself, but he is still unhappy about it.
I feel so humiliated by his behaviour. What should I do? We often end up fighting about it. How do I stop this habit of his? My husband tells me most guys check out women they find attractive. He feels I am unnecessarily creating an issue. I feel odd when I am with him and he is checking out other women. How do I explain to him how I feel about his habit? He tells me that guys are programmed to admire beautiful women.
— Reeva

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Reeva,
Your husband feels there's nothing wrong looking at other women, as he has no intention to do anything more. As long as it is just a look, it should not bother you. You cannot shield him from looking or have eyes only for you. When he tells you that guys get visually stimulated and get easily drawn to notice feminine beauty, it is his way of justifying why he can't help, but gawk at women he finds attractive. He feels it is a guy thing. He is openly telling you when most guys may not talk about it. This, however, does not mean that he is dissatisfied with you. Remember the woman catches his attention only for a fleeting moment. She is forgotten just a few seconds later when she has disappeared from his view. So there is no need to worry about it. If you find it irritating, tell him about it. As long as he does not cross the line, there is no need to worry.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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