I am a divorcee and have a 10-year-old son who lives with my ex-wife. It has been seven years since we went our separate ways. We just could not get along and things came to breaking point when she accused me of things I never did. It was then that we decided to part ways. A year ago, my ex remarried and has relocated to Sydney. She has taken our son with her. My family is now pressurising me to get married again. I'm 40. All this while I never thought of remarriage, but with the changed scenario, I have now started thinking about a new life. The way I look at it, I will now get to meet my son just once a year when he is in Mumbai on vacation. My mother is keen that I get married and move on in life. She thinks I will be lonely later as I do not have siblings. My family is lining up prospective alliances, but I still have my fears of giving marriage a second shot. Should I remarry? I am otherwise well settled in my career. I am scared of things going wrong again.
Your ex-wife has moved on, and your mother's concerns are justified. She wants you to settle down as she thinks you may feel lonely. At the same time, your concerns are justified as well. As they say once bitten, twice shy. But then just because your first marriage did not work out, it does not mean the second time also it will prove to be a disaster. Keep an open mind and let the past stay in the past. Your folks may be looking for a suitable match, and at the same time you too can find someone. All these years, you never gave marriage a thought due to your fears, so you never looked at any woman. Old wounds may take time to heal, but they will eventually. So get rid of your preconceived notions first, only then will you be able to find a soulmate again.
Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at firstname.lastname@example.org, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012