'My wife's past haunts me...'

Dear Diana,
I got married two months ago. It was an arranged marriage. Just before our last meeting prior to the wedding, my wife told me that she wanted to come clean on her past. She said she had been in a relationship and that her parents were unaware of it. Some of her close pals and office folk knew about it. As he belonged to a different community, both knew that it would be a tough going for them. They decided to part amicably. She said she wanted to tell me because if I ever came to know about it from someone else, I should not feel cheated. I was okay with her confession, but now after marriage, I have this fear that she is still in contact with him. I feel it was a marriage of convenience for her and that guy will always remain the love of her life. Though she has not showed any signs of meeting her former love nor does she talk about him. She is a good wife. How do I forget her past as it haunts me? Am I overreacting?
— Anil

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Anil,
She told you the truth before the wedding because she wanted to begin on a honest note. If she had not confessed, perhaps you would have remained unaware about her past relationship. You have to tackle it in a mature manner. Consider it as an indication of how she feels towards you. If she has moved on for the sake of her marriage and future happiness, why are you harbouring such thoughts? She has told you something that even her parents don't know. This is out of respect for you. Don't bring her past into the marriage. It is not worth it — start on a fresh page.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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