Nobody deserves abuse

Weekend reports stated that veteran actress Rati Agnihotri approached the Worli police on Saturday, March 14 to file a domestic violence case against her husband, Anil Virwani. Rati told the police in her complaint that her husband had beaten her up on March 7 over a dispute. The police has stated that they have filed a case. Her husband has been summoned to record his statement.

One can expect this case to be followed and be in the news considering Rati Agnihotri is an actress. There are numerous celebrities and ordinary people too, who unfortunately suffer domestic abuse and put up with it because of a number of reasons.

Firstly, it is important to recognise domestic abuse. Sometimes, the victim at first may not even be able to identify domestic abuse. It can take both verbal and physical forms. The abuser cleverly convinces his target that she or he at times, is overreacting or it was just one instance when he lost his temper.

The abuser very often, cuts off the support system of the victim. Cutting them off from friends and well-wishers in subtle ways, alienating them so that the victim feels she has nobody to turn to, when such abuse occurs. Also putting a sense of shame into the victim, convincing them that they deserve this abuse in some way. Even saying sorry and then repeating the action, these are patterns of domestic abuse, which is hugely underreported.

The victim must realise that nobody deserves abuse. There is no shame in complaining. There are avenues like NGOs or counsellors to speak to. One needs to speak out because only speaking out can make people help you.

Domestic abuse is difficult to tackle because it is so insidious, difficult at times to prove and a lot has to do with the victims’ mental conditioning. Even so many educated, strong women believe they have to take abuse because they are mentally conditioned that they should not complain against the abuser. If you are abused, do seek help. If you think you are being abused, most probably you are. It is not a figment of your imagination as your abuser would want you to believe.

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