'Searching for a soul mate? Look at your parents'

Introducing Dr Love, who solves your relationship riddles in a confusing digital age

Q.How should my soul mate look?
A. I think it's safe to say that your soul mate should look like a normal person. If he or she has a dazed look, wears mismatched socks, runs around with a sharp object or calls you by someone else's name during sex, chances are the person is not your soul mate. A good way of figuring out what your soul mate looks like is to look at your parents. If they've been married for a quarter of a century and still smile at each other at the end of every day, you have some solid clues on what your soul mate will look like. You may also find that it's not how they look, but how you look at them, that makes all the difference. Here's another piece of advice: Stop looking for a soul mate. Look for someone you love enormously and someone who loves you in return. That is usually enough for most people.

Q. Do we still need to do things together to maintain a healthy relationship?
A. No. The two of you should live in separate rooms and have separate lives. You should both go out with different people, do things you like doing without the other person present, and even go on holidays separately because this will strengthen your bond and make you both stronger individuals. Your relationship will eventually end, of course, but that shouldn't bother you because you are already making it sound as if doing things together is a chore. I hope this answers your question.

Q. Is sex necessary for a relationship?
A. It depends on the kind of relationship, doesn't it? Sex between siblings is frowned upon, for instance, so you really ought to be more specific. Having said that, research shows that it helps strengthen relationships, keeps married people happily married and often helps people have children. So, I suppose the answer is 'yes.' It is also important to point out here that sex should be consensual, of course. If it's not, you're in the wrong kind of relationship.

The inbox is now open to take your most carnal and amorous queries. Send your questions on email to

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