'She is not interested in physical intimacy...'

Dear Diana,
I have been with my girlfriend for about a year, but she is not interested in physical intimacy. She only wants to spend time with me and talk to me. What should I do to make her interested in more than just conversations with me? She says she is not comfortable with physical intimacy. She'd rather listen to me than allow me to get physical with her. I am her first boyfriend.
— Samir

Illustration/Amit Bandre
Illustration/Amit Bandre 

Dear Samir,
Your girlfriend is perhaps not too sure about the relationship or she feels she is not ready for it at this stage. It could also be due to some past experience. You need to ask her why she avoids physical intimacy. Being honest and forthright will help you put her apprehensions to rest. She needs to tell you why she feels uncomfortable. It could also be that your girlfriend is not prepared for it, so you need to respect it than force her into something she is not at all comfortable doing.

Dear Diana,
My boyfriend is a cool guy. We get along well and are thinking of a future together. My only problem is that when he is not around, I do not miss his presence. I am so engrossed in work and other stuff that I have no time to even think of him. Is this okay or do I not love him enough? Sometimes I wonder why I do not miss his presence. When I told him about my dilemma, he just laughed it off.
— Firoza

Dear Firoza,
When you are at work, you are too busy to think about anything else. You are engrossed in what you are doing and do not have any time to even sit back and ponder. This does not mean that you do not love your guy enough. You have a personal life and a professional life. Your guy is mature enough to understand it, no wonder he laughed it off. So stop worrying and concentrate on your job.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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