'We are drifting apart...'

Dear Diana,
I have been with my girlfriend for three years. We are busy with our jobs and I keep travelling at least twice a month across the country for work purposes. Of late, we have been spending more time away from each other. We barely meet and keep in touch over phone. This, too, is becoming a rarity. It appears that we are bored of each other. Or perhaps our relationship has reached a plateau. One of my close pals tells me that the way we are going, a break up is inevitable. It is like we are drifting apart as we are so caught up with our respective lives. My girlfriend tells me she has no time for me. I am also tied up with my own things. At the rate we are going, do you think our relationship is doomed? When I spoke to my girlfriend about it, she said, most couples after some years in their relationship, do their own thing, but remain together. What does she mean by this?
— Ranjeeb

Illustration/Uday Mohite
Illustration/Uday Mohite 

Dear Ranjeeb,
What your girlfriend means is that you need to give each other space. You may be together, but you have your own life too. But at the rate things are going on your front, it appears that you are just doing your own things with no communication between you two. You need not constantly be together to sustain a relationship, but in your case the spark has gone in the relationship. Soon, you will not have anything to talk about. Later, you won't even want to see each other. Your relationship has reached a plateau and there is a sense of boredom. One option is to take time off from the relationship. A break for a while will enable both of you to take stock of the situation and to reflect about the future. At the same time, if you two are happy as things are, don't pay heed to what your friend is saying — it's your life you can lead it the way you want.

Diana will solve it!
Write to Diana at, or fax her on 24112009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

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