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RAHUL DA CUNHA NEWS

  • Bored exams

    Bored exams

    The ICSE results were out. Her heart thumped like a Yo Yo Honey song. ICSE results seemed to assume Magna Carta-like propotions in a 16-year-old's life. She needed to go online to check her percentage. Online was better than the old system of 'notice board' results. Where everyone could compare

  • Wake up Maggi, I got something to say to you

    Wake up Maggi, I got something to say to you

    So, there is much tamasha going on in our country. Mainly because the national food of India — the Maggi noodle — is about to be banned

  • We regret to inform you

    We regret to inform you

    And so it’s 6 am and I’m at Chhatrapati Shivaji International Airport. All set to board a flight that will take me on a Turkish ‘chutti’...

  • These are the things that should defi be banned

    These are the things that should defi be banned

    What a week. The North Korean leader kills one of his guys with an anti-aircraft gun. Bit of overkill, no? A small revolver would have sufficed

  • 'Gulp-able' homicide!

    'Gulp-able' homicide!

    And so Sallubhai is free. Free on a Friday, what a release, yes?

  • I'm an earthquake

    I'm an earthquake

    I’m sorry. Deeply deeply regretful. For the disaster, the death, the destruction, the debacle, the debris I have caused. I know it’s a tragedy of untold proportions

  • India kya tyohahahaha!

    India kya tyohahahaha!

    I am IPL obsessed. No, no not the Indian Premier League. The new Indian Political League is my new area of interest

  • We didn't start the fire (You've just stoked our ire)

    We didn't start the fire (You've just stoked our ire)

    I hope all is well this Sunday morning. I’m happy that the Bengalis, the Malayalis and the Punjabis were able to celebrate Shubho Nobo Borsho, Vishu, and Baisakhi respectively without any incidents of violence

  • I'm Maha happy!

    I'm Maha happy!

    So much has made me happy this week — overjoyed actually. Acche din sacchi aa gaye

  • How do you solve a problem like Anushka?

    How do you solve a problem like Anushka?

    Dear Anushka,
    Whaatup? Wassup? Howdy? Satsri akal? I have so much to tell you. These are random thoughts, so don’t look for a link.

  • What, men,  why men?

    What, men, why men?

    What men, why you attacking us, men? What my fader did to your fader, huh? Accha, you tink I’m being paranoid about us Catlicks being targeted?

  • Angst in the time of adolescence

    Angst in the time of adolescence

    Talk to me, dear teenager, you awesome 16-year-old, child adult, social media czar, downloader of every kind of app, selfie expert -- I need to get into your head, under your skin, without treading on your privacy

  • I'm Whatszapped!

    I'm Whatszapped!

    I'm a part of 125 WhatsApp groups. Yes, can't believe it na? I've been told it’s a Guiness Book of World Records fact

  • How the udder half lives

    How the udder half lives

    So ‘they’ve’ banned cow slaughter in Maharashtra. It’s all a bit strange to me

  • Of Birdmen and Budapest Hotels

    Of Birdmen and Budapest Hotels

    I love the concept of the Academy Awards. Especially the films that make their way through the Odyssey-like journey to the Oscars.

  • The world this weak

    The world this weak

    What a fortnight it has been. I’ve been interviewing many a celebrity with my tough-talking microphone, a la Barkha Dutt

  • Muffler man 3

    Muffler man 3

    So, I’M onto the final screenplay draft of my superhero blockbuster MUFFLER MAN 3. (Sadly MUFFLER MAN 1 and MUFFLER MAN 2 tanked badly at the box office

  • AIB Boys, oh boy!

    AIB Boys, oh boy!

    So All-India Bakchod dudes, how’s it going? I can only imagine what the last three days have been like

  • Namobama!

    Namobama!

    So the gum-chewing Barackbhai and the Bibhu Mohapatra-sporting Michelleben flew out of Bharat leaving a trail of N-deals and multi-cuisine meals behind them

  • When did we lose 'honest'?

    When did we lose 'honest'?

    My neighbourhood video store is shutting shop. “Why Shaileshbhai, what’s the problem?” “Sir, the pirated market is doing ‘bharpoor’ business