I have had three relationships in my life, all before I turned 30. I don't want to marry, but all my friends and relatives say I should, because they are all settled in life
Illustration/Uday Mohite
I have had three relationships in my life, all before I turned 30. I don't want to marry, but all my friends and relatives say I should, because they are all settled in life. Some of them have children too, but I don't ever see myself as a mother. I don't have a problem with children, but I don't think that is all I was put on this Earth to do. I don't want a husband either, because I like my space and don't think how I live my life is anyone's business. The problem is my parents, who are old and believe I should be married because they think I won't have anyone to look after me when they are gone. How can I convince them to let me be?
First of all, I agree entirely with what you choose, because this notion of marrying and bearing children is entirely about freedom of choice. One can't have marriage or parenthood thrust upon oneself. Some people think about marrying in their teens, others struggle with the concept in their fifties. Some people enjoy being parents, others can't stand the idea. Considering the large number of badly behaved children one meets daily, I empathise with you. It's your body, and your right alone to decide if you want to bear children. As for your parents, I think they will come around to your point of view in time, especially if you give them a way of seeing how independent you are. Show them you are financially, emotionally and physically secure, let them recognise that women in modern India don't need male support for anything, and they will believe. It's a hard concept for them to grasp but, as parents, all they want is your happiness. Show them how happy you are, and they will let you be. Peer pressure will ease up too, simply because a number of your friends will start to envy you your independence at some point. Hang in there.
