He wants me to choose between him and my friends

23 November,2017 06:00 AM IST |  Mumbai  |  Dr Love

What should I tell my boyfriend when he asks me to choose between spending time with him and meeting my friends? He does this every week. I think these ultimatums are childish and completely unnecessary.


What should I tell my boyfriend when he asks me to choose between spending time with him and meeting my friends? He does this every week. I think these ultimatums are childish and completely unnecessary.

I think you should tell him to take a hike and come back to you only when he has grown up a little.

My mother and girlfriend never get along, despite the fact that she has been in my life for over three years now. I may actually end up marrying her, because it is a serious relationship. If this happens, I don't know how the two of them will ever stay together under the same roof without attacking each other daily. My father passed away a few years ago, and my mother will always stay with me no matter what, because I am an only child. I can't imagine a scenario where I am married happily if I have to deal with arguments daily though. I have tried giving my mother hints about how serious I am about my girlfriend, but this doesn't stop her from being nasty whenever they meet. I don't know how to deal with this.

Your mother isn't taking what you say seriously, or is dealing with anxiety about a potential loss of control because of the important place you occupy in her life. Either way, this is about parents having a problem with letting go. Considering both these women are an important part of your life and will presumably have to get along simply because living separately isn't an option, I suggest you sit them down together and lay your cards on the table. They both care about you deeply and, presumably, will at least make an attempt to be civil if they recognise how much it means to you. They need to understand that their antagonism towards each other is harming you and, eventually, straining your relationships with them both. Ask them to try and behave like adults.

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