Today (November 19) is celebrated as International Men’s Day. It is the day when men, especially those hooked on to social media, might end up accessing volumes of online content, detailing the importance of opening up, being vulnerable and being attuned to one’s emotions. These may feel like the latest addition to numerous other pressures that Gen Z (and younger millennial) men tend to feel the burden of — looks, fitness, career, productivity, dating and relationships. The common factor in all is the pressure to perform, multiplied amidst fast-paced daily life.

We reached out to clinical psychologist, Dr. Nikhila Deshpande, founder of Italk Therapy in Goregaon, for inputs on the same. If you’re looking to break away from this addictive ecosystem, here’s a practical guidebook, to remind you that it’s okay to step off this scoreboard, and instead, focus on mental wellbeing.

Social media detox
According to the Global Digital Report 2025 by data suite Meltwater, Indian men (65.5 per cent) make up a disproportionate share of social media users compared to women (34.5 per cent). From influencers giving lectures on the most desirable fitness goals, to culture wars around gender, the performance pressure becomes manifold, which makes taking time off social media a crucial step for young men.

“Seeing such triggers becomes a stressor for young men, and hence a comparison point, be it career goals or a recent breakup. Men I’ve seen are incredibly competitive, and these triggers then affect their sense of self-worth, which they tie to their achievements,” Dr Deshpande elucidates to us. She strongly suggests making it a point to mute or un-follow accounts that maximise mental pressure. Even a simple thing like uninstalling an app, or setting a daily screen time limit on your smartphone, can help with the constant bug of comparison.

Time for relaxation
Hobbies have long been found to be therapeutic for many, playing an integral role in alleviating anxiety, depression, and even mere loneliness. Notably, hobbies involve structured time focusing on the activity, taken out from one’s daily obligations. Dr Deshpande cautions against only engaging in activities that test one’s performance.

“Men often become workaholics or simply hit the gym as a result, which is once again a performance-based activity for many. The stress piles up and eventually impacts heart and liver health,” she says. “I always recommend men activities that actually calm down the body, be it yoga, running, or working out without competition. Breathing exercises can particularly help.” 

Alternatively, hobbies such as cooking, practising an instrument, or taking a walk while listening to music, can work just as well. Find a hobby that works for you individually, and give it a dedicated period during the day. You might also want to set a small personal goal or unit of progress, such as one sketch a day (or a week), a particular distance to run.

Recognise the root
For young men, especially those entering the workforce, identifying the root cause of concern can be the best solution to reduce the pressure to perform. “Talking to a trusted friend (male or female) always helps,” says Dr Deshpande, adding, “If you do need therapy, and manage to access it, nothing like it. Often, talking to someone you trust makes it easier to get to the root of the issue bothering you.” As a personal ritual, try noting where any mental burden stems from: A genuine personal limitation, a perceived flaw through the clutches of others’ opinions, or a feeling of needing to constantly upgrade yourself. Confronting the problem can make solutions easier.

Setting boundaries
Often, the simplest solution is developing a routine that fits your lifestyle. However, Dr Deshpande says that many young men she meets are already very disciplined and goal-oriented. “The struggle lies in the inability to set boundaries. Our social fabric is already such that men feel compelled in running away from the issue, and hence, are unable to set clear boundaries when they need to — mainly with partners, parents, and even children,” she describes. She recommends being strict about self-care, be it avoiding an outing to focus on exercise, or disconnecting from other obligations. 

Introspect well
Whether you open up or not to another person is an individual choice, regardless of the numerous pop-ups of information extolling emotional transparency amongst young men. Dr Deshpande adds that suppressing it only adds to physical and emotional stress. “Women tend to reach out to friends for resolution and discussion. But young men do not typically do that. Hence, I always recommend journalling as an outlet. Whether it is jealousy, anger, overthinking, and more, introspection always helps, when sharing does not come naturally,” she signs off.