19 January,2009 08:10 AM IST | | Dear Diana
Illustration/
Dear Diana,
satish acharya
I don't think my dad ever forgave me for being the cause of my mother's death. I'd like to think that I didn't kill her but the truth remains, she died giving birth to me.
It wasn't my fault that she died but he never talks to me, always avoids me and even sent me early on to live with my grandparents. I don't think I could ever forgive him for letting go of me like that.
But I wouldn''t blame him. I remember my grandfather telling me once that I was a spitting resemblance of my mother. I bet it would be difficult having me around if I kept reminding him of her.
But it's been 21 years since. I've found love and am due to get married soon and it would mean so much to me if he gave me away (kanyadaan). How do I convince him to?
Distressed Daughter
Dear Friend,
Here's the thing. He owes it to you to be there for you. Besides after 21 years, what grudge could he possibly hold now? You haven't told me if he moved on or not? From your letter, I'm assuming that he was either too deeply in love with your mom or simply not equipped to be single parent.
Anyhow, it was wrong of him to keep you away this long. Especially, if all you wanted was his attention and his love. Was that so difficult a thing for him to give? It really isn't your fault that destiny dealt you the hand it did.
My advice to you would be to go up to him and insist that he come to your marriage. That it would be the only thing you'd ever ask of him. Flat out straight and like it is... If he doesn't want to after that, don't push it. You're better off without a selfish cad like him.
Does oral sex lead to pregnancy?
Dear Diana,
My girlfriend and I indulged in oral sex last year in the month of April, her periods were regular since then. Is there a chance she could get pregnant for something we did last year?
Sameer
Dear Sameer,
Let me make one thing very clear. Having oral sex does not make you pregnant. Especially, since the digestive system and the reproductive system work completely independent of each other.
Secondly, if anything had to happen (which is completely impossible without manual interference), it would've happened over the last year. So chill out, you don't have an unwanted pregnancy on your hands.
My school problem resurfaces...
Dear Diana,
I'm 18 years old but am very shy of girls. My friends say that I am very smart and attractrive and girls do look at me many times but my shy nature is the real problem. I have many male friends but no female ones. In my school days, I had a crush on a girl.
She'd point at me when with friends as if to catch my attention. She called me to dance with her on our Farewell Day in school but I said no because I was very shy. But now, our school days are over and now I am in college.
I forgot that girl because I missed that chance. Now there's a girl in my colony. I find her very attractive and want her to be my friend. What should I do?
Asim
Dear Friend,
Only the lucky few have opportunity strike twice at their door and if you let something like being shy get in the way of that, there's very little to be said here. When the girl you had a crush on, went out of her way to ask you for a dance, you refused.
There's actually no need to even remember that now except to keep telling yourself that there won't be a repeat performance. When you find someone attractive and wish to be friends, you simply go up to them and tell them so. No excuses. It's as simple as that.u00a0
