19 April,2010 10:30 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
My husband and I have been together since February and we don't know too much about each other. It's like we haven't made too much progress. I know we both really like each other but we usually don't talk. I told him not to be shy around me, that he can be himself and he just says he has nothing to talk about.
I don't want it to be like that I want us to be able to talk non-stop and I think it is because he is a little shy. Previously, I was in a two-year relationship with a guy who was au00a0 jerk, he used me and often verbally abused me and this relationship with my new guy is like a new start.
So I was wondering what I can do to have him open up to me more? He said that he has some trust issues. I want to become really close to him and I need to know how we can do this.
Name owithheld
Dear Friend,
You really ought to initiate conversations rather than wait for him to do so. You may need to draw him out of his shell. If you are sincere about making this marriage work, it will. Speak to him. Ask him what trust issues he has. Do any of them concern you? Tell him how you feel about him andu00a0 thatu00a0 you'd really like to get close to him without having to try too hard. Don't judge him and ask him not to judge you about your past. There's nothing you can do to change it anyway!
I love my cousin but can't marry her!
Dear Diana,
We have been together for a year, are committed to each other, and wish to wed this coming year. Trouble is, our families will never accept us because the girl I love is my cousin (in our caste, cousins don't marry each other). This is the biggest problem we face and are desperate to find a solution to it. I really love her!
Ramdeep
Dear Ramdeep,
If you two are consenting adults, nothing can (legally) keep you apart if the two of you wish to come together. Most castes and communities are dead against marrying first cousins while a few even abhor marrying second cousins or even distant relations. The choice is yours to make. If you feel you'll be happiest with her, you have to what you feel you should.
At 16, am I too young to have sex?
Dear Diana,
I am 16 years old and in a five-month relationship with a girl. We have been thinking about having sex for a while, and both of us really want to. We have already gone over the consequences, etc. Her parents are going out of town for a few days, so we thought of having sex at that time. I just wanted to know if 16 is the right age to have sex, or should we wait longer. We have been waiting very long for this oppurtunity and we are dying to have sex. Also will it shift us apart emotionally?u00a0
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Seriously, don't you think it is too soon? For one, do you really know why you want to have sex? And is it just you or is the craving mutual? And if this one "opportunity" is going to be the foundation stone on which your relationship is to stand, will it last long. You're "dying to have sex".
What after the two of you do? What if it isn't what you expected? Ideally, 16 and above (for both partners) appears to be the age of consent. Coming back to your question, is it the right age? Personally, I don't think you ought to rush it. Will you shift apart emotionally post-intercourse? That's something you'll know in time. It can't be predicted.
