I just can't trust my ex around my friends!

I was committed to and was madly in love with this one girl. We were together and happy

I just can't trust my ex around my friends!

Dear Diana,
I was committed to and was madly in love with this one girl. We were together and happy for five months and I thought it was one of those relationships that would last. I introduced her to all my friends and also to my

Illustration/ Sameer Pawar

family members. I, one day, sensed that she was hiding something from me and asked her to tell me what it was. She said she was in love with another guy as well but that she really loves me. It was one of the biggest shocks of my life. I tried to get past it but wasn't able to trust her at all. I decided to break it off with her, just be friends and move on with life. But she cried about wanting to be with me. I even stopped talking to her so she would forget me. A couple of my close childhood friends went to console her. I was okay with it, because she hardly had any friends. In time, she started talking to almost all my friends. Some avoid talking to me but are still meeting her. She started talking to one of my very close friends, who asked me to at least keep in touch with her. I did so. They are now constantly in touch with each other. They speak till very late. They go for walks together. I asked my friend if he is carrying on with her.u00a0 How do I free myself of this sick mindset? Was it a mistake to introduce her to all my friends? I don't want to lose my friend at any cost.

Kishore

Dear Kishore,
Shit happens. You get past it. And if you want to wallow in misery, it's your cross to carry. She said she loved you enough to forget about the other guy and was honest enough to admit to it when she felt she could. Of course, it is but natural to feel betrayed if your friends feel that she was wronged and that you are being unduly harsh about it all. If they are all saying the same thing, they must be convinced that she wants to be with you and not the other guy. In any case, why can't she have guy friends. Will you suspect her continuously because she chose to tell you the truth? Only true love could've prompted that decision. Keeping a secret like that kills a part of you. It was a do-or-die decision to make and she made it regardless. Think about it.

My wife says her money is hers alone!

Dear Diana,
I'm frustrated about being married so young. My wife and I work in different companies. She says that whatever she earns is hers,u00a0 and that it is none of my business what she does with it. We usually fight over this. Is she right ?

Steve

Dear Steve,
Well, you haven't signed a pre-nuptial agreement or anything that puts to paper what you expect from a marriage. And I'm sure you haven't even brought it up before you got married. Taking it for granted that she would contribute towards family expenses was the wrong thing to do, in retrospect.

I think she's avoiding me...

Dear Diana,
There's a girl I see at the bus-stop every day. She appears to be from the North East and very reserved. I'd like to be friends with her... even marry her. But every time I try to approach her, she avoids me. My sister even spoke to her mom. She was told that she didn't want her daughter to have boyfriends and in any case, it wouldn't work out because we belong to different religions. I really like her. What should I do?

Name withheld on request

Dear Friend,
It appears she won't really reciprocate your advances unless she gets her momma's say-so.u00a0 And it won't work out in your favour if both parties are a bit anal about religious differences. There's no convincing some people that couples from different religious backgrounds can make a marriage work. You can keep trying to convince her mom though. If it works out, nothing like it! It all depends on how many sacrifices you're willing to make for her and if she is willing to make a few sacrifices in return.