Diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
Dear Diana,I don't know how to get beyond the things that have happened to my marriage and my self esteem. My husband of ten years cheated on me with a 20-year-old girl.
He actually left me and the house for au00a0 month. During this time he did and said many very hurtful things. All of this stunned me as faithfulness was extemely important to him.
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I love him and gave him the opportunity to fix this marriage. Everything was good, till I realised that the girl was still calling him at times and trying to catch him at work. I finally toldu00a0 to her to stop calling him. I have been trying to work on my self-esteem and learning to trust my husband again.
She recently met us at a public event, where she came over and hugged and kissed my husband. I get angry every time I see her or her name is mentioned. Am I over reacting? Do I have a right to still be angry? Is it too much to ask that he not speak to this person?u00a0
Vrinda
Dear Vrinda,You are not over-reacting at all. You have every right to be angry. But I am surprised that none of this anger is directed towards your husband! He's obviously messing with your mind, if you even think you don't have a right to be upset.
It's horrible to be cheated on and lied to, and having your trust violated so terribly by a man you are married to and care deeply for. I don't think you should let him get off easy. He wronged you. He needs to admit to that and apologise to you.
That is step one towards bettering this situation. Step two, he needs to cut all contact with her. Ask for it. Hell, demand it. As for your damaged self-esteem, think of it like a broken window that you have to fix. In whatever way you can. Take a vacation, take up a new hobby, join a club, whatever helps you heal. You deserve it.
My girlfriend or my friends?
Dear Diana,I recently met this girl in college. We hit it off instantly and are going out often. But now my friends are complaining that I am not spending time with them anymore.
They say I am ignoring them for my girlfriend. I didn't mean to do anything like that. How do I explain it to them?
Arun
Dear Arun,You are stuck between your girl and your friends. I really think you should tell them that you did not mean to hurt them. Then you should explain to your girlfriend your friends' grouse.
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The best thing would be for you to include your girlfriend in your outings with your friends. Once your friends see she is a nice girl and make her a part of the group, your problem will solve itself.
I love my boyfriend and my ex...
Dear Diana,I've been dating this wonderful guy for two months. He spoils me. He gets me everything even before I ask for it. Everyone in my family loves him and so do my friends.
There is only one problem. I still have feelings for my ex. There is an emotional attachment that I cannot seem to get rid of.
I don't want to let this great guy go because of this. What can I do to make my feelings for my ex go away?
Veena
Dear Veena,If you still have feelings for your ex, then your current boyfriend is a rebound, and you will hurt this wonderful guy. I'd say take a break from relationships untill you no longer have an attachment to your ex.
How to get over him? Ask yourself this. Why did you break up with your ex? Was he a good bf?
Is he worth giving up this other great guy for? Is your ex half the prince your current bf is? I think you will have your answer.
