07 May,2010 10:39 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
These past few days, I have been suspecting my wife of five years of cheating on me with an old friend she caught up with online. I first caught wind of it when her instant messenger kept buzzing far often than usual. I usually don't pry when she's using the computer as I respect her privacy but that day, I couldn't control myself and found myself also looking at her Facebook and Orkut accounts.
u00a0
I found out that she had several male friends added, most of whom I didn't know. I'm normally a very reasonable man but this has me confused. She still behaves like I mean the world to her. But these conversations she has saved in her folders prove that she has very personal chats about her married life with these guys who are complete strangers (to me). How should I deal with this?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
I guess you could simply confront her with the 'evidence'. But being together as long as you have, I really do not see that going down well. I really don't see the fuss about your wife having friends you have no idea about. Don't we all add friends on social networking sites all the time jus t becasue they're friends of friends? It's not like it's a crime or anything.
You might be on to something with the saved conversations or maybe not. If she wanted to cheat on you, she would never keep the 'evidence' in a place you would have easy access to. I guess talking to her calmly about this, would sort things out. Jumping to conclusions will get you nowhere and will only make matters worse.
Are first impressions, last impressions?
Dear Diana,
The other day, I read somewhere that most people make up their minds about someone on the first date itself. Does that mean, first impressions are last impressions?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
If you're on a blind date, that holds especially true. And this is because these days one would prefer not to waste time with dates that go nowhere and give no inkling of a possible future together. When two people want the same thing, a connection is made, if not, it's not.
My boyfriend calls me a slut!
Dear Diana,
My boyfriend calls me a slut because Iu00a0 am quite friendly with my guy friends and sometimes even stay over at their places. I see nothing wrong in that if nothing happens and really see no reason for any fuss. I've always been on my best behaviour and nobodyu00a0-- none of my friendsu00a0-- have ever called me any hurtful names. I love my boyfriend and when he says things without thinking, it hurts me deeply. I have tried telling him this but he keeps harping about my "bad habits". What should I do?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
It's those we love that we allow to hurt us. It's when they abuse that freedom with their own narrowmindedness that the trouble begins. You know that you are above reproach. The knowledge of simply that is enough to not be bothered by anyone or anything else. Insecure people use hurtful words to make you feel bad about yourself.
Pay no heed to them. Ignore to the point that they stop saying those things. Arguing with them will yield nothing. And if bad comes to worse, dump him. He's so not worth the heartache. Get your friends to rally around you and ensure they give him a piece of their minds for putting you through this. It isn't fair to you.
u00a0
