19 June,2009 10:13 AM IST | | Diana
Not gay, but good-looking guys make me horny
Dear Diana,
I am a very shy 28-year old guy. I am NOT gay and don't believe in homosexual relationships but a few months after watching gay porn on film and on the internet, I feel something really wrong in my heart. When I go out, I see handsome guys and feel very horny. I am handsome, fair and very good to look at. Out of the blue, twenty days ago, I received a mail from a guy I don't know. We began chatting and I even shared my mobile number with him. He sends me romantic messages that make me horny. I reply positively but feel scared. Am I doing
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Illustration/ Sameer pawar |
Sameer
Dear Sameer,
Why is being gay such a stigma for you? Also, the human body - male or female - if attractive, deserves appreciation. It's probably companionship you crave. You've been lonely long enough. You blame the gay porn for giving rise to these latent feelings. And if these feelings manifest themselves time and time again, doesn't that mean that you've been living in denial all this time? You've been craving a romantic relationship on the sly. Seriously, why does someone have to dictate to you what's right and what isn't? Simply follow your heart. Also, a word of caution. Don't give your personal details out online. You can never be sureu2026 you might just run into some blackmailers. Ask for a picture and don't meet this guy alone. Make a friend tag along the first time, just to be on the safe side.
I worry that I won't be able to satisfy future wife
Dear Diana,
I am very scared of getting married because my 'internal part' is small. When I feel aroused, it gets a bit big, but I am worried I may not be able to satisfy my wife. Can medical science help me in any way?
Farhan
Dear Farhan,
By internal part, I assume you mean your private parts. I think you underestimate yourself and that could be the reason why you aren't able to muster the confidence you need. I'd say visit an andrologist and ask him if your size is adequate, and if not, can there be any possible medical solution to rectify the problem. Of course, to be a tiger in bed, you'll simply have to believe in yourself. It's as simple as that. Nothing else, really matters.
Girlfriend helps him, wife does not
Dear Diana,
My friend was in love with a girl for 11 years, but they couldn't marry as both families objected due to religious differences. After a big argument, they parted ways, and decided to get married where their parents wanted them to. It's been a year and a half since and his wife still doesn't understand the bond my friend and his ex share. It's so strong that the girl can deduce if he's worried just by looking at him. But his wife won't get it even if he hints at it or even tells her clearly. Moreover, she can't even help him. His girlfriend even offers to help him out. He is upset because he wants to talk to his ex but cannot because of the promise they made. My friend has showered enough love on his wife and I have no doubt she loves him too but she can't understand his feelings. So it's only a one-sided relationship. How can they get on with their married lives smoothly?
Derrick David
Dear Derrick,
I'm sure your friend would appreciate it if you didn't make his private affairs public. Also, it seems he could have written in himself, could he not? It seems rather trite that they went around for about 11 years, only to separate because their parents would have none of it. Your friend possibly went in for an arranged marriage. How do you expect two strangers who've just got together to understand each other or share a connection as well as someone who's been in a long-term relationship? It really is funny, how she helps him without so much as talking a single sentence. Of course, for your friend and his wife to enjoy a blissful married life, he'll have to stop pining after a lost love and she will just have to make do with a husband who might never completely love her. Trite, but that's the truth.
