She wants to come back to me but can't defy her folks!

I'm 25 years old. I am truly in love with this girl. When I proposed, she asked me if I would marry her.

She wants to come back to me but can't defy her folks!

Dear Diana,

Illustration/ Sameer Pawar

I'm 25 years old. I am truly in love with this girl. When I proposed, she asked me if I would marry her. I said I would. Four months later, we started fighting over small things. It wasn't my fault. She did some things that compelled me to raise my hand on her in her mother's presence. I apologised to her mother and her but they wouldn't relent. Her parents refuse to see me as a potential son-in-law and are unhappy with my job and financial condition. Moreover, she has directly said she doesn't want to marry me. To top it all, they even filed a complaint against me at the local police station for raising my hand on my girlfriend. Thankfully, I was spared the consequences. Four months back, she realised my love and came back to me but added it was too late as she was engaged to be married to another guy on April 11. I tried to tell her that she has to convince her parents. She replied that it was a question of prestige for her parents. She said she was unhappy and is going ahead with the marriage only for the sake of her parents. What should I do in this situation? She says me she loves me a lot but is helpless. But Diana, what about me? I'm suffering through all this. I love her a lot and want her any which way!

Sushant

Dear Sushant,
You raised your hand on the one you love. I don't support people who are capable of or are guilty of domestic violence. Whatever the compulsion, raising your hand is no answer. In a way, I'm happy that her mother caught you in the act and has dealt with the matter well. I have nothing against your financial status or your job but simply support her mother because she was acting in her daughter's best interests. Any girlfriend-beater doesn't deserve to have a girlfriend. Physical aggression is never a good trait for a potential partner to have in a relationship. If she has "realised" your "love" I just pity the poor girl's decision and am really not surprised at her naivette. I understand you must be suffering being apart from her but when it comes to violence, one instance is enough to be aware. If you did love her, you just would not. Sorry but don't expect sympathy from me in this case.

I have forgiven her but I haven't forgotten!

Dear Diana,
I am a 37-year-old guy, married for ten years now and have two daughters. My wife has had sexual affairs with two men. I have caught her red-handed and she has also admitted her guilt. I have forgiven her for this act, but my problem is that I cannot forget these things it keepsu00a0 coming back to me very often. Please advise me about what I should do. Shall I tell these things to my family or let her be?
u00a0
Padmakant

Dear Padmakant,
She has cheated on youu00a0-- not once but twice.u00a0 She may have asked forgiveness and you may have given it but I doubt this behaviour will change. She will never let you forget because it's bound to happen again. Sit her down very sternly and tell her that you will file for divorce and will take custody of your two children, if she doesn't cease and desist from sleeping around. Telling your family isn't going to serve any purpose. You caught her red-handed, there's nothing left for her to admit to. Stand up for yourself and stop sullying your dignity by keeping quiet about it without sounding her off.