We were so happy and gay, now he's wishing me away

Dear Diana,
I'm a 23-year-old gay guy. I'm in love with a guy who is 38 and we have been in a relationship for a year now. Of late, he's been very busy and tied up with work. He is also very stressed and was hospitalised because of it. We had a small argument and I banged the phone; that's where it all began. He is blaming me for his stress and for his hospitalisation. He says he doesn't want to be in a relationship because he doesn't think I can handle it. He says we can only be friends. But that ain't enough for me. Life was so beautiful when we were together. I was never happier. He's married and stays with his family (wife and daughter) and I don't have any problem with that. I stay alone and work in Mumbai. Even I have tensions but when he was with me, he forgot everything. We haven't met for two months now. He calls me but doesn't talk to me the way he used to. I

Andy

Dear Andy,
There comes a time in one's life when one decides to give up a certain way of life in favour of another. He might have enjoyed your company but probably didn't see a future together and thereof, didn't see the point of sticking on. Of course, family compulsion might not have been the clinching factor in this going against you, I think it has more to do with the fact that he wasn't ready to come out and accept that he was in love with you at all. Was it love for him or was it something else? He still enjoys the conversations but is he capable of giving you what you're asking of him? I think not!

Shouldn't I practise before I get married?

Dear Diana,
I am 26, unmarried and still a virgin. I get horny when I see any girl or woman for that matter. I'm assuming this is because I have never had sex. Most of my friends have had sex before marriage and say you it won't go well with a prospective wife if I don't practise beforehand. Your thoughts on the subject, please!

Sunil

Dear Sunil,
Well, here's the thing, if what you're friends are saying is true, pre-marital sex or alternatively, sex with different partners would be a rampant reality in this country. But would you accept that on the face of it? I don't think so. To say that you're horny because you've never had sex is simply assuming that your sex drive will go away once that want is fulfilled? Don't you think you ought to be looking for something more lasting? Sex isn't the be-all or end-all of life. You can't predict when you're going to get lucky, beforehand. Practice might make perfect, boy, but which girl would fall for that argument?

Will too much masturbation hurt me?

Dear Diana,
I am fed up of my masturbating habit. I've been stroking myself since I was 20 years old (I'm 27 now). I try to control myself but cannot. I masturbate thrice daily about four times every week. I think this is affecting my body in that I haven't been able to put on any weight. Also will this affect my married life? I'm due to wed sometime next year.

Raj

Dear Raj,
At the risk of rubbing yourself raw, you ought to prefer quality over quantity. Think about it. You've been relieving yourself this way for the last seven years that often. Don't you grow tired of the same routine. Where's the fun in that? Also, as far as I know, masturbation (even excessive masturbation) has no side effects, and has absolutely nothing to do with weight loss or gain. I think once you get married and enjoy sex, you'll grow out of this habit, unless it's become more of an addiction than anything else.