I have always dreamt that I will fall in love with a tall, handsome guy, who looks suave in suits, a jetsetter and definitely an urbanite
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| Illustration:Satish Acharya |
Dear Diana,I have always dreamt that I will fall in love with a tall, handsome guy, who looks suave in suits, a jetsetter and definitely an urbanite. But recently, my friends and I went on a eco tourism trip to Ratnagiri, and I met the guy who is the heir to a farm there. He took us on a tour and answered all my questions.
Later, my friends opted to rest while both of us explored the farm some more. I really liked him and he likes me too. It's been a few weeks since then and we've kept in touch via e-mails. He even came over to the city and we went to a cafe.
I feel I am falling in love with him even though he's completely opposite to what I had dreamt of! He loves his farm, the life he has there and he will definitely not settle in the city or travel the world. He is very well-educated and has a sharp brain, but he's not conventionally handsome.
But he is sweet, caring, attentive and a good listener. He has hinted that he would like to take this forward, but I don't know. What if I am only infatuated? What if I commit to him and then meet my tall and handsome dream man? I'm confused!
Natasha
Dear Natasha,
We think we know what we want, and then life brings across a pleasant surprise. If you really like this guy and he likes you, then put aside your fixed ideas about the ideal guy in your head, and follow your heart. In any case, you can't plan who you fall for. If this guy seems to be someone you can talk to, and spend time with, I don't think you should worry about geography.
A lot of couples have happy long distance relationships. Don't put the cart before the horse. Whether you will eventually want to move out of the city is a decision you will probably take a few years down the line. So his reluctance to move into the city will also play into it only then. Don't overthink it. For now, just get to know each other and maybe everything will sort itself out. Life has a weird way of falling into place. All the best.
I am angry he went through my cellphone...Dear Diana,I forgot my cellphone in my new boyfriend's car and he read myu00a0 messages, and thought I was cheating on him. We talked and sorted it out, but now I'm mad at him. I might have done the same if I were him. Should I be mad at him?
Sonal
Dear Sonal,It's human nature to be curious and you admit you would've done the same. So don'tu00a0 be too mad at him. Yes, he's invading your privacy, but it also means he wants to know how your relationship stands. Simply asking you that is sometimes a lot harder than doing something like this. Get past this.
He cheated on me with my best friend!Dear Diana,I am 19. A year ago, I began dating this guy. As our relationship progressed, he started getting close to my best friend. I've never been the jealous type, but after a while it started to annoy me. Sometimes I'd be on the phone with him at night, and he'd say, "Oh, I have to go.
She is on the other line." Then I saw highly innappropriate messages between them on his phone, so I ended it and didn't talk to him for months. Then we ran into each other and he apologised. Since then we've become friends and all the old feelings are coming back. Would giving him a second chance be a waste of time?
Nalini
Dear Nalini,People make mistakes, and I'm all for forgiving them. But there are some people who never change. Only you would know if he deserves your forgiveness. Don't rush into seeing him again. Also see that you don't send the message of: 'It's ok to treat me that way, I'll accept it.' Things maybe great for a while, but most often when one goes back to a relationship, the old problems resurface.
Make it clear that you will not tolerate cheating. Ultimately you'll have to make the decison on your own and if you choose to go for it, then you must accept the fact that you might get your heart broken again. Although there is a chance that he really loves you and he doesn't want to hurt you again
