19 March,2010 10:21 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
I am 32 and have been involved with a 26 year-old woman whose marriage has been pretty bad. We have grown closeu00a0 and she tells me she wants to be in an "open relationship" with me. We have only been physical a few times and I'm okay with the fact that she wants to sleep with other men, because I knew this was going on. But now, she has asked my permission to have "meaningless sex" with my brother.
I tried to explain to her how that would hurt me and that I was fine with her wanting other men, but family was off limits. How do I get through to her on this? We care for each other but she says that me saying no has hurt her. I just feel she doesn't understand where I'm coming from. Would appreciate any insights on this subject.
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
An open relationship has several connotations. One implies that she doesn't have to take your permission before sleeping with other guys but rather that she has to keep you in the loop. She has chosen to be honest with the fact that she cares for you and at the same time would like "meaningless sex" with your brother.
You need to be firm about your stand, that you are unhappy about her request and that you do not want to have anything to do with her if she brings up this matter again. Besides, your brother is also an important factor in this equation. Has anyone bothered asking him forhis thoughts on the topic?
Why are girls free to express their views?
Dear Diana,
I am 17. I want to know that why the girls are always free to express their views.
James Smith
Dear James,
If you're asking me why girls are expressive, I'll have you know that's a generalisation you're making. Humans of either gender can be inexpressive and for varied reasons. If some girls are frank in their opinions, there's an equal possibility that there are shy guys as well.
Don't want to lose my new friend...
Dear Diana,
I am an 18-year-old boy and I really like this girl I met through my friend. We have become really close and we do talk a lot. I have a major crush on her but I don't know what to do. I would tell her about how I feel but I don't want the relationship we share as friends to get very awkward and I don't want to lose her at any cost. Can you please help me out? I don't know what to do.
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
You would have to be crazy to believe that things could get awkward just because she may not want to be more than "just friends" with you. You're speculating over a situation that hasn't even happened yet. If you tell a girl you have a crush on her, I guess it should boost her ego more than anything else.
Secondly, if she wasn't comfortable about hearing that you could have such feelings for her, she was probably looking for a brotherly figure rather than a friend.u00a0 Tell her how you feel and that you'd liek to go out with her and see how it goes. That you aren't making any demands of her just yet and that it's okay if she says no. She will understand.
