Relationship drama is not passion, say 27 per cent India daters recounting signs of red flags

Image for representational purpose only. Photo Courtesy: File pic

Whether it's love blindness or an intense urge to settle down, many people overlook relationship drama, and some even mistake it for passion.

In fact, a survey by Indian dating app, QuackQuack, reveals that 27 per cent of Indian daters believe that chaos is not a sign of chemistry as it is not passion. Respondents also disclosed that they inevitably became emotionally exhausted from trying to keep up with it and realised that ignoring red flags neither led to a deeper connection nor "fixed" the relationship.

The survey was conducted among 8738 daters from metros and suburban India. Participants ranged between the ages of 22 and 35 years, and were selected from various professional and educational fields. The app's founder and CEO, Ravi Mittal, said, "The findings of the survey clearly show that many young daters force themselves to believe that the turbulence in their relationship is just a form of love, but most of them are finally realising that it's more exhausting than exciting."

Crazy in Love
The survey said 3 in 6 people admitted that they once believed "fights mean you care". Over 31 per cent of women and 26 per cent of men shared that they equated jealousy and the 'break-up make-up' cycle, with passionate love. But over 60 per cent of the same daters said that they have since realised that the cycle is not just toxic, but it is also emotionally taxing. The feeling of love after the end of an intense argument might have seemed good enough to overshadow the fight itself, but once it turns into a pattern, couples forget how to communicate healthily. Priya (27) from Pune, said, "With my ex, the situation got so bad that every time I felt like I needed attention or the relationship seemed to be getting dull, I'd get into an explosive fight. I only realized later that our relationship was dying because of those fights, and somehow, also surviving because of them. But truly nothing is worth going through the conflict, crying, bitterness, and in the end, calling it love."

Gen Z daters between 22 and 26 years seemed to be more emotionally aware of the matter, and 36 per cent of these daters explained that a healthy relationship is not supposed to constantly feel like an emotional rollercoaster, no matter what movies will have people believe. Healthy attraction does not need chaos to remain kindled. It thrives better on consistency, calm communication, and mutual respect.

Red flags don't turn green
The survey showed that over 33 per cent of daters from both Tier 1 and 2 cities ignored red flags in their matches, hoping they would change with time. But only 9 per cent seemed to have rightly predicted; for the rest, it eventually escalated.

Among the red flags ignored in a match or in early connections, extreme jealousy (36 per cent), possessiveness (31 per cent), lack of respect for boundaries and personal space (22 per cent), and anger issues (11 per cent) were found to be the most common. Data also suggests that while women are more likely to excuse red flags to save a connection, men were not far behind; however, the reason was more rooted in their observation being overshadowed by the prospect of romance.

Communication is the new chemistry
Over 44 per cent of daters between 25 and 35 years voted calm communication as the biggest contributor to chemistry in a relationship. The survey data suggests that couples who communicated with their match regularly, whether about boundaries, goals, or even addressing red flags early on, were 1.7 times more likely to take the relationship in real life. Asmaan, a 26 year old software engineer, said, "I thought a little drama makes a relationship exciting. That was before I experienced what healthy communication can do. Now I strictly avoid matches who think like the old me."