29 April,2010 10:02 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
Iu00a0 am 26, she's 23. Our love survived just 20 days. In a very short span of time, we spoke too much and shared all our feelings. We used to call each other up or chat every now and then. I just jumped to theu00a0 conclusion that this is the girl I would be marrying.
Her sister is married to my cousin (guess that makes us distant relatives). She has decided to end our relationship just because I told some of the stuff we shared to my cousin (who in turn blabbed to his wife and her sister). There have been no calls and no messages from her since and all this makes me feelu00a0 miserable.
I can't forget her, but how could she be so determined with little or no feeling? She is adamant to cut me off completely, claiming I betrayed her trust. Did she really love me in the first place or is it common among girls to have such attitude. Anyway my life has come to an standstill. I am living in hell. I let go of whatever little ego I had and begged for pardon but she remained unmoved. Should I continue to pursue her or forget her?
u00a0
Pavan
Dear Pavan,
First of all, don't jump to conclusions. Second of all, never share personal stuff about your girlfriend with the common relative (if she's a distant relative). It's bound to get back to her. I would say she's making too much of it, but I guess that would depend on what the "secrets" revealed to your cousin were.
Alternatively, tell her that she can't blame you if she never really set down any rules saying you couldn't tell anyone. Besides, it doesn't seem like something someone would break up over. There has to be more than meets the eye here. I'd say that she has gotten over you, so you should too.
If he loves me why does he need to take revenge
Dear Diana,
My boyfriend and I were dating for fouryears, until about two months ago. We broke up due to mutual decisions, which we both realise now are trivial compared to how much we love each other and want to be together.
While we were broken up, I slept with someone else, it was nothing more then a rebound. My ex and I really want to get back together, however he says that because I slept with someone he needs to do the same before he can get back with me, he's treating me like I cheated on him, which I did not, and the thought of waiting for him to get to that point with another woman kills me. Am I right to say he shouldn't do that if he really loves me or is it fair?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
After four years of dating, he knew the consequences that would evolve from any future break up, including how you would have no tie to him at all, and would possibly be with someone else in whatever way you wanted. Also, an eye for an eye never represents love, and is immoral.
I can understand his pride suffering, but the truth is you never abandoned him for someone else, or cheated on him, because he mutually agreed to break up, and you can't cheat on someone that isn't there. He's trying to punish someone who never committed a crime against him. If he didn't want to suffer the consequences of a voided relationship, he should have never agreed to create that void.
